


stand down

by thisissirius



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Homecoming, M/M, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 23:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10581939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: The cabby pulls up outside the Woolpack, as familiar and eternal as ever, and Robert blinks, realising he doesn’t have cash.“Don’t worry about it,” the cabby says, tipping Robert a salute in the mirror. “Thanks for your service.”Robert mutters grateful thanks, takes note of the driver’s name to pay later, and grabs his bag from the seat beside him. It’s weird how little he has to come home with, but everything else never left the country.





	

**Author's Note:**

> written in response to a prompt on tumblr
> 
> i had a need for robert being in the military

Robert’s tired.

The kind of bone deep exhaustion that comes from spending six months in another country, body always one step behind, mind dedicated to staying alive.

He rests his head against the back of the taxi, avoiding the inevitable questions from the cabby by feigning sleep. He doesn’t think he’s doing a good job, but he’s not in the right frame of mind to talk about where he’s just been.

There’s a warm bed waiting for him at home, comforts he hasn’t had in months, and the press of a familiar body to his back.

Robert wants that more than anything.

_Home_ , he thinks, as he sees the familiar _Emmerdale_ sign flash into view.

The cabby pulls up outside the Woolpack, as familiar and eternal as ever, and Robert blinks, realising he doesn’t have cash.

“Don’t worry about it,” the cabby says, tipping Robert a salute in the mirror. “Thanks for your service.”

Robert mutters grateful thanks, takes note of the driver’s name to pay later, and grabs his bag from the seat beside him. It’s weird how little he has to come home with, but everything else is back home.

As the taxi pulls away, gravel crunching under tires, Robert stares up at the pub sign, static in the heat of the summer. It’s hot in his uniform, but Robert hadn’t wanted to change, came straight from the airport.

Fingers curling tighter around the handles of his bag, Robert pushes open the door to the pub.

He’s struck by how little thanks change, even in the months he’s been gone, and his eyes land immediately on Chas, serving one of the punters behind the bar. She hands over money, eyes immediately shifting to the door, scoping out new customers, and her mouth parts, her eyes widen. “Robert Sugden!”

Robert winces, doesn’t want to draw more attention to himself than necessary – not a possible feat when he’s in his uniform anyway – but Chas’ shout draws stares enough that he shifts uncomfortably.

Chas grabs someone Robert doesn’t recognise by the sleeve, tells him to serve. He drops his bag on the floor, mouth curving up into a smile as she crosses the distance between them in minutes, wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him close.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” Chas squeezes, presses a kiss to his hair. “Someone would have come to get you.”

“I just wanted to come home,” Robert admits, still unnerved by how motherly Chas is sometimes. His mother died a long time ago and Robert’s still trying to reconcile Chas in that position. “For good.”

Chas gets his meaning immediately, presses her hand to his mouth as she pulls back. “Have you told anyone?”

“Just you,” Robert replies, knowing why she’s asking. He shrugs, eyes tracking the rest of the pub, past stares, polite interest, and familiar faces alike.

There’s the sound of an excited shout, “Uncle Robert!” and a whirlwind of pink bows, sandals, and brown hair.

Robert bends, sweeps his niece into his arms and closes his eyes. “Hi Peanut.”

Small hands fist in his jacket. “I missed you so much.”

“I know,” Robert says, his own voice wavering. Phoebe is every inch her mother’s daughter. She has Vic’s eyes, her mannerisms, even her penchant for letting Robert off the hook more than she should. “I’m not going away again.”

“Don’t you make promises you can’t keep, Robert Sugden.”

Robert peers over Phoebe’s shoulders, sees his sister standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hands on her hips and looking far more pregnant than the last time Robert saw her.

He feels the familiar shift, guilt warring with sadness at everything he misses when he’s not here, and shrugs, aims for nonchalant and misses by a mile. “I’m not.”

The irritation slides off of Vic’s face, and he doesn’t think what he’s said even registers, but she waves him forward.

Chas is already grabbing his bag, gives him a soft smile.

Arm tight around Phoebe, Robert approaches Vic, holds out his free arm.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Vic breathes, settles under his arm, hand on his chest. “I worried.”

“I know,” Robert tells her, trying not to think about the fear still thrumming under his skin, thousands of miles away from a war zone. “It’s for good.”

Like Chas, Vic’s eyes widen, and she breathes out shakily, her hand trembling against his jacket. “You promised last time.”

Robert’s throat is thick. “I mean it,” he tries, fingers tight on the back of her whites. “I have my discharge papers.”

Vic closes her eyes, rests her head against his shoulder. “I hoped, but I know how much you love it and I have no right-“

It’s an argument Robert’s had with her time and again, echoes of it playing through his head every time he’s deployed. Victoria usually wins, backed up by more than one member of their very extensive families, but there’s another reason Robert’s chosen to leave.

“I know,” Robert says, in lieu of anything else. Phoebe shifts in his arms, reaches out for Vic. Robert hands her over willingly, knows he should really leave. “I’m glad I’m back.”

Vic smiles, wide and open, looking every inch the sister he misses like crazy. “Are you going home?”

It sounds so good to hear, to know that Robert actually has somewhere to rest his head that isn’t uncomfortable, or hard, or just plain loud.

“-don’t know why you’re pretending,” a familiar voice says, sounding just as sceptical as Robert remembers. “It’s not like he fancies _you_.”

Robert looks back over his shoulder as the doors to the pub bang open, something else painfully familiar, and Gabby and her shadow walk into the pub.

“Oh,” Gabby says, eyes landing on Robert. The last time Robert saw her, she was curled up on Liv’s bed, crying her heart out at the death of her father. She’s taller, more confident, and gives Robert a soft smile. “Liv.”

_Liv_.

Liv never changes, even though Robert’s expecting her too. She’s sixteen, but she’s still wearing the hoodie Robert swears Aaron replaces when the former frays, and her hair’s as wild as he used to claim she was.

Liv frowns, but follows Gabby’s gaze until she sees Robert. Robert’s watching, sees the minute it registers, and he’s glad he handed Phoebe back to Vic, because she _flies_ at him, throwing her arms around his middle and holding on for dear life.

Robert’s chest is tight, his eyes burning as he wraps her up just as tightly, buries his face in her hair.

“You’re home,” Liv says, voice muffled against his flight jacket.

“Yeah,” Robert agrees, threading his fingers into her hair. “I’m here.”

Liv’s crying, Robert can feel his jacket getting wet through to the shirt, and he holds her tighter.

“It’s okay,” he says, combing her hair through, oblivious to everything but her.

Liv pulls back, swipes at her face. She won’t stop staring at him, never does when he comes home. She told him once it was because she was afraid she’d never see him again. Robert understands; her letters take forever to come through, but they make him miss her more. Every shell, every bombing, every moment he thinks _this is it,_ and he sees her, wishes he could see her one more time.

“How long are you home for?” Liv asks, biting at her bottom lip. It’s a gesture every bit her brother’s, and Robert’s chest tightens for a whole different reason.

Robert’s eyes search the room out; he’s not longer the centre of attention, but there are still people looking, so he guides Liv over to the corner of the bar out of the way. Gabby’s taken a seat at one of the tables, texting on her phone, and Robert’s certain she’s not updating about the Woolpack décor.

Liv raises her eyebrows, question still hanging between them.

Robert slips a hand into his pocket, the sheaf of paper’s still tucked up next to his heart. He presses them onto the bar, face up so she can see.

Brow furrowed, Liv’s eyes dart left and right, reading the entire first page. There’s no change on her face and Robert worries for a second, before a smile breaks out on Liv’s face, and something like relief. “For real?”

Robert nods. “Effective immediately.”

“Ohmygod,” Liv says, words coming out in a rush, and she leans in for another hug, brief but no less welcome. “Does he know?”

“No.” Robert’s fingers brush over the papers. “I just wanted to come home.”

“He’s at the Scrapyard,” Liv answers, her eyes knowing. “I asked him to meet me for lunch, though.”

Robert makes a face. “I should go find him.”

“In that uniform?” Liv snorts. She rolls her eyes, and he’s glad to see her attitude hasn’t diminished any.

“What, you think I’ll stand out?” Robert looks down at his dress blues, pretending not to acknowledge that yes, they definitely stand out.

Liv just gives him a familiar look, torn between amusement and exasperation.

“I just don’t want him to have to suffer a public reunion,” Robert says, gently, aware of how much Aaron hates those, even after all this time.

Liv’s expression is knowing; she’s known him, _them_ , too long. “You just don’t want to be interrupted.”

Robert grins, flashes teeth. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure,” Liv says, leaning against the bar. “Anyway, it’s almost one, so you should probably-“

Robert stops listening to her.

Aaron’s standing in the doorway of the pub, one hand still wrapped around the door handle, eyes on Robert, expression one Robert can’t read.

“Oi,” Adam says, coming in behind him. “What’s the hold – Mate!”

Adam sweeps past Robert and startles Robert with a hug. “Vic’ll be made up you’re home!”

Robert opens his mouth to tell him she already knows, but hears Vic do the same, and Adam gets out of Robert’s line of sight. Aaron’s still by the door, still frozen, and Robert thinks about the day he left, about their argument and his subsequent departure. He remembers their one and only phone call, the sound of Aaron’s voice, wretched and afraid, as he’d apologised.

“I’m sorry,” Robert says, because he hadn’t been able to then. “I’m sorry and I’m home, I swear, for good.”

Aaron doesn’t answer, and before Robert can blink, he’s thrown himself at Robert, arms around his neck, face in his shoulder. He’s crying, breathing hard, and Robert clutches him just as tightly, Aaron familiar, wanted, _his_.

“I’m so sorry,” Robert says, again and again, own eyes wet with tears as he kisses Aaron’s temple, his cheek, anywhere he can reach.

“Every phonecall,” Aaron mutters, turning his face to Robert’s neck, lips pressed to skin. “I worried it would be them and they’d tell me-“

“I know,” Robert says, heart aching. “Never again, I promise.”

“You can’t,” Aaron tells him, but his grip doesn’t loosen, his fingers tugging Robert down.

Robert presses a thumb to his bottom lip, mostly to quieten him, but also because he hasn’t been able to for months. “Can actually,” he says, eyes on Aaron’s. Every inch of Aaron is familiar, every inch of him has been missed. “Honourably discharged. I’m a civilian as of 06:00 this morning.”

Aaron lets out a slow, shaky breath. His fingers are trembling against Robert’s body. Robert wants to wrap himself around Aaron and never let go. It shocks him that he _can_ , that he’s never going to have to get on a plane and leave Aaron thousands of miles behind. He’s going to be able to say _I’ll be back soon_ and mean it. He’s going to be able to wake up to Aaron’s body, his face, his _everything_.

“I love you,” Robert says, like he has every day, knowing Aaron couldn’t hear him.

“I love you,” Aaron says, voice thick with emotion.

For the first time in six months, Robert pulls Aaron in for a kiss, knows with a certainty he hasn’t felt for a long, long time that he’s never going to have to leave Aaron again.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading if you did <3


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